Meeting the in-laws is a purposeful and planned event, especially for those who do not live with them. If you are still living with your folks, skip to “Still living at home, how to successfully land the man of your dreams”.
For some, introductions are coordinated in the first month of a relationship, while others wait until several months or even years into the relationships. The reasons can depend on culture, strength of parent-child relationship, strength of couple, horrible past introductions, and for a wide variety of other reasons. The ‘intro’ can happen at any time.
Things to watch out for:
* One person is pushing to meet the in-laws while the other one is adamant on not coordinating a meeting. While this could indicate simple discontent with the parents, or lack of regard for their input into the life, not wanting to allow a crossing over of lives can be a symptom of something major, such as fear of commitment, embarrassment, or worse! The lack of an introduction can mean that the other person is not sure about how you fit into their lives.
* After meeting the in-laws they want to be integrated into all aspects of your life. What can happen if you introduce the family too soon? They can begin to feel as though they have a responsibility to ensure the success of the relationship and start meddling. Be careful! Once you begin to allow it, if you suddenly decide to lead your own life, it will damage their egos.
* If you are dating someone from a different culture, ensure that you both understand the different cultural affiliations, and norms. Interracial or intercultural relationships can present significant advantages and add different views and ways of lives. But, when meeting the in-laws, it is important to attempt to acknowledge and embrace their way of life. It may not be that different, but accepting the changes and slight variations in traditions can go a long way to your peaceful and seamless integration into the family environment. I’m sure you have invited a mate for dinner at your parent’s place, where after they left, your mother or father made a comment about his mannerism, accent, behavior, historical background. We live in a world that is much more tolerant than our ancestors; however, differences still intrigue us. So, ensure to brief both parties about the differences, or orchestrate an open discussion.
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