The Soulmate System Blog » Soul Mate

How to Find Your Soulmate in 30 Days

admin0 — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 03:39:01 +0000

If you want to find your soulmate, make sure you get Step one of the Six Step Guide to finding your Soulmate at www.TheSoulmateSystem.com

It is free and provides you with enough information to commence your journey to finding true love.

If you like to obtain the complete system, subscribe to the free chapter and further information will be at your finger tips.

Enjoy

Using the Law of Attraction in Attracting Soulmates

admin0 — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:57:47 +0000

There are so many things that can be said about using the Law of Attraction in attracting soulmates, here are some thoughts for now…

Treat yourself how you want your soul mate to be. See in yourself the things you are looking for.

Often people are looking for qualities on the outside which they feel they do not have on the inside, they project them onto the outside world and expect it to compensate for what they’re looking for within, whether that be confidence, love, self value, beauty, wealth, etc etc

If you got your soul mate what would you have? What would you feel? And how/where are in your life currently relative to this?

If when you ask that you get a positive emotion then your soul mate’s on their way. If it’s not so positive and you feel your soul mate will provide these, work on having these qualities in your life – and I say qualities, which is FEEL as if you have them, live from the place of having them. You can feel beautiful no matter how you look, you can feel wealthy no matter how much you have. Your skill is in seeing the beauty, wealth (or any other quality). If you can’t see it how can you expect someone else to?

You will then find you’re not looking for your soul mate in the same way – because you have what you’re looking for, and your soul mate will be an expression of that, rather than trying to fill a gap so to speak, it will be a different feeling/experience – but in turn you are also more attractive (spiritually/vibrationally) for what you’re looking for and you are getting closer to it. As your attention is on what you have (than on what you lack), that will manifest on a physical level. You will also be more ‘attractive’ and people will be drawn to you because they will feel it vibrationally. They will see you are not looking towards others to fill something you feel may be lacking but instead are in your own joy and they will want to be a part of it, and it grows and grows

In actual fact, everything and everyone you attract is your ’soulmate’ because everything is from spirit (where you have come from too) and everything you experience is a match to the vibrational signal you are giving, though classically it’s referred to as that wonderful magical synchronistic experience.

Line up in seeing the magic within you and allow it to express itself…

Hemal Radia’s background is as a Coach and Trainer. Early on he learnt NLP and worked with clients and ran seminars and found more and more that his love was the more spiritual nature of Manifesting and Law of Attraction.

He has enjoyed working in lining up his energy and attracting wonderful things in his life and in working with others in doing the same.

Have a great day!

http://hemalradia.typepad.com
http://blog.hemalradia.com

=============================================================================
If you would like to find out how you can find your Soulmate in Six Easy Steps.
Click on the link at The Soulmate System .
For a free copy of the 24 page Step One to The Soulmate System, click here
for more details. Otherwise check out The Soulmate System Blog here.
=============================================================================

Six Ways to Lose Your Soul Mate

admin0 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 08:56:27 +0000

Soul mates. The very phrase conjures up images of happily-ever-after and someone to lean on when things get tough. And then…reality check. You find yourself sitting home watching Blind Date with a boxful of tissues because your supposed soul mate ditched you for that co-worker you just knew was putting the moves on your one and only.

No one likes to be in this situation, but it’s happened to the best of us. As they say, some things are meant to be, but were there some things that could have been preventable?

Here are six ways to lose your soul mate and how you can avoid every single one of them:

1. Become his mother

It was once believed that in order to keep a soul mate you had to show your soul mate that you could do everything for him his Mama used to do: cook those nice, big Sunday dinners, mend his shirts, and basically be at his beck and call whenever he was in dire need of guidance. Okay, a bit old-fashioned, but you’d be amazed how many women still do this. While it’s a great thing to show your mate how much you care by cooking him a pot roast dinner after a long day at work, it gets a little overbearing when it’s starting to look like he married his mother and not the vibrant, young woman he fell in love with. What women sometimes don’t realize is that the man doesn’t want to be married to his mother; he wants to be married to you. Be yourself and mesmerize him with your own talents. It’ll pay off in the long run.

2. Doubt his word when he gives you no reason to do so

Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you can’t trust your mate, you may as well hang it up. It’s not going to work. If you have doubts about his honesty, something is wrong. Unless you can work it out whatever is bothering you, the relationship will fail.

To learn how to trust is to learn how to take attention off of him or her and focus it on yourself. Do what makes you happy and before you know it, unless he or she gives you reasons to feel otherwise, everything will fall into place. If it still doesn’t, rethink the relationship and move on.

3. Play the silent treatment

One of the most important characteristics of the soul mate relationship is communication. If you can’t say what’s on your mind without your significant other going off the deep end, something is definitely wrong. Repressing your thoughts and opinions is stifling your self-growth as you know, so say what’s on your mind without bottling it up. Your soul mate will respect that and think more of you.

4. Rely on your soul mate to make you happy

I must have preached this a million times. No one can make you happy but yourself. If you have to have someone in your life or if you rely on your soul mate to provide the happiness that you can’t provide yourself, what is going to happen is that your soul mate is going to back off because the relationship is off balance. To create a happy and harmonious relationship with your soul mate, do things you love to do and became the person someone would want to love.

5. Crowd his/her space

Togetherness goes hand in hand for the soul mate relationship, but what happens when there’s no time for exploring one’s self? While we may or may not be aware of it, we’re creating an atmosphere of total consumption. Allow your mate to have interests outside of yours and you do the same. Before long, you’ll be creating a well-rounded and happy relationship that will last a lifetime.

6. Take the other one for granted

Finally, don’t let day-to-day routine become so monotonous that you forget the wonderful person you fell in love with. It’s easy to do because as time wears on, you both become comfortable with one another and it’s only natural you take their love for granted. While this stage in a relationship is gratifying, don’t forget the reason why your soul mate has come into your life and show him or her every day how thankful you are that they are in your life.

Author, relationship coach and soul mate expert Dorothy Thompson is one of the nation’s leading authorities on soul mates. Her book ROMANCING THE SOUL and e-books HOW TO FIND AND KEEP YOUR SOUL MATE and 101 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SOUL MATES are three of the most comprehensive guides to explaining what soul mates are really all about. You can visit her website at http://www.soulmatequeen.com

How to Attract & Create a Lasting Relationship With the Kind of Person You’ve Always Wanted

admin0 — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:46:45 +0000

How often do we complain in life that we never find the right person or the one we are looking for is already taken? You see the thing is that what you are looking for is right there but you are not looking hard enough. And at the same time when we do find the right person we are not able to maintain the relationship in the long term and than we start thinking about where we went wrong. Read on to discover some of the most stunning secrets on how to create a lasting relationship with the kind of person you have always wanted…

Learn to be a listener- To really create long lasting relationships you need to be a good listener. You see often when your partner isn’t heard he or she starts feeling neglected and this is where the relationship truly suffers. Therefore it is extremely important to be a good listener at times and keep the opinions of your partner in mind.

Positivity is the key- Every person wants to be and remain positive. How would you like to be stuck with someone who is negative all the time and is complaining about one thing or the other all the time? This is the reason why you need to maintain a positive attitude throughout and avoid negativity at all costs.

Get rid of all insecure feelings- Insecurity is often the reason why most breakups and poor relationships. You see if you are insecure about yourself you will start acting possessive and would emotionally push your partner away. The best possible way to keep others happy in our company is to be comfortable with ourselves first.

What you don’t know yet- Ever tried to wonder what’s in a woman’s mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don’t want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most “Shocking Secrets” women don’t want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don’t want men to know

The 5 Deadly Sins of Relationships

admin0 — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:41:07 +0000

The number of potentially deadly hazards to your relationship is astounding…it makes you wonder why people even try anymore. Well cheer up…for those of us who DO try, the good news is that most of worst things that can ruin your relationship are completely preventable! Five of the most particularly nasty ones are 100% avoidable, as you will soon see.

1) Infidelity. Also known as CHEATING on your partner. Boys and girls, if you can’t seem to fully comprehend the idea that sleeping around is a BAD thing to do that can emotionally destroy your partner…you deserve to be alone, I just feel bad for the person who loved you and got hurt because of it. The rules are simple: don’t cheat. When you commit to a relationship with someone, that means everyone else becomes OFF-LIMITS. Honestly, there’s no reason you should even want to breach your partner’s trust in you…not if you have any shred of human decency.

2) Lack of even a smidgeon of trust in your partner. Ladies are stereotyped as being the worst with this, but guys are just as bad sometimes. People, your partner is not going to go rambling around and getting into trouble with members of the opposite sex if you leave him or her alone for fifteen minutes. Endless phone calls to check in on your partner, harassment as to where he or she has been the instant he/she gets in the door…it can be funny in the movies, but in real life it’s exhausting and claustrophobic. If you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him or her. Lay off.

3) Lack of regard for your partner’s feelings, or emotional support. I know, it’s such a cliched expression that I feel silly just using it, but not giving your partner the emotional support he or she needs is a painful and self-esteem damaging thing. When the one you love has a difficult time seeing how much you DO love him or her, it hurts! Most of this can be helped just by listening to your partner…really listening, and responding like a human person rather than a parrot. A little support from the one who loves you isn’t too much to ask, so don’t be stingy in giving it.

4) Allowing fights and lovers’ quarrels to come outside their place in a relationship. Every time two people are put together in trying conditions for any period of time, a little conflict is going to occur. It’s healthy, it’s natural…it gets the air cleared and enlightens us as to what’s making our partners unhappy, and by knowing it we can fix it. What you DON’T want is to turn a fight into a war where cruel things are slung about, feelings are hurt, and relationships are unraveled. Accept that there will be fights, but don’t let them break you two apart…excessive conflict and stress ruins a lot of relationships, so don’t let yours be one of them.

5) Stagnancy in a relationship. It’s genuinely sad to me whenever I see or hear of two people who loved each other like crazy just sort of dissipate from lack of any real passion in the relationship. People, never forget what a blessing every second with your partner really is, and help your guy or girl feel that you feel that way in any way you can. Lack of spontaneity and activity dulls relationships down to grey fogs that eventually just disappear, and this is the saddest waste of two loving hearts there is.

Although unforseen things can happen, these basic 5 things are usually the worst of the relationship-killers. Luckily though, with a little loyalty and compassion you can prevent a lot of the things that could cripple your relationship! And when you think about it, is that really too much to ask you to do for the one you love and who loves you?

So try your hardest not to hurt your partner with these stupid and avoidable problems. There’s no reason the two of you can’t be swimming in happiness together, so long as you make a little effort to be a human being…and I don’t see that as an unfair requirement.

Just break up? Get instant relief from break up pain and a proven plan to get your ex back. Free articles and info at http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/

Top 10 Ways To Test Your Relationship Compatibility

admin0 — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:39:26 +0000

So you like your partner, you find him or her attractive, but questions remain and run through your mind, like:

- How long would it last?

- Would he or she keep finding me attractive?

- Would we be able to talk to each other in a month, a year?

Questions like these can disturb sometime and in any case it would be nice just to have some stable data to be able to test your relationship compatibility.

Once your can answer the questions above and others similar to yourself with enough reliability, the life would become easier and lighter, the mind would stop be bothered with those unnecessary concerns and instead you’d be planning your vacation and holidays together light heartedly.

I want to give you 10 important points to discover about your partner and yourself to test if your life would go smoothly together or there would be quite a few arguments and quarrels on the way.

Please, be advised, that whatever you decide your compatibility is based on the question I give, something can be done about it! And quite a lot, for that matter. But you’d better know where you stand, wouldn’t you?

Here are the tests and yes they are simple but very powerful, when looked into thoroughly:

1. What do you like doing compared to what your partner does?

2. What do you hate doing compared to what your partner does?

3. What do you like talking about and what your partner does?

4. What do you rather not talk about and what about your partner?

5. What do you like listening to and what your partner does?

6. What would you really not listen to? What about your partner?

7. What do you both think a person should have to be happy?

8. What do you both think a person better not have to be well?

9. What do each of you dream to become if that would be possible?

10. Where would you really hate finding yourself as a person?

These are quite profound questions, aren’t they? But they quite often outline the mental state and the envisioned future of a person. According to some very serious studies, a person quite often finds himself exactly where he envisions himself and his liking or disliking seldom change too sharply.

So what I suggest here is to ask those questions yourself and your partner and try to decide just how much of a common ground you have right now. That might give you a clue and a start.

Want to learn more and become an expert in relationship compatibility testing? Download my FREE Report ‘Are You Really Compatible?’.

Alexander Stern has an extensive knowledge in the field of relationship compatibility and the art of developing a long-lasting loving relationship. Alexander writes on many topics to help people remove the stress and confusion in all that relates to their relationship.

What is a Karmic Soul Mate?

admin0 — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:38:28 +0000

One of the most interesting, yet baffling, thing about life is that out of all the people in the world, a few fortunate ones will touch our lives in a special way and leave lasting impressions. One such person is your karmic soul mate.

While other soul mates come into your life for intimate reasons, not so the karmic soul mates; for they are the ones who come into your life to teach you something about yourself or help you with a particular task.

While there are usually no sexual relations with this person, there is still that bond, that closeness, that inevitable feeling that this person is pretty darn special. It may be a special friend, co-worker or even a member of your family, but one thing is for sure, without them your life would not be complete.

I have compiled ten questions and answers that will explain in more detail what karmic soul mates are all about. It is my hope that you come away with a clearer understanding of the karmic soul mate relationship and can use this knowledge to recognize those people who touch you in ways no others can.

Can a karmic relationship go on to the next level?

No. Once a karmic soul mate, always a karmic soul mate. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of believing that there is more there that really isn’t. The karmic soul mate solely comes into your life to teach you something or you teach them and then they – as well as you – move on.

What kind of lessons do karmic soul mates teach you?

That depends on the particular situation. One karmic soul mate may come into your life to teach you about strength, while another might teach you about compassion. I’ve had karmic soul mates come into my life to show me that I needed to stop and smell the roses. I’ve had karmic soul mates come into my life to show me how to better myself. I’ve also had karmic soul mates come into my life to help me complete tasks I wouldn’t otherwise know how to do on my own.

Do karmic soul mates find their way into each other’s path again?

Of course. But when they do, it’s to learn new lessons.

The karmic soul mate bond, just as in other soul mate relationships, never goes away.

You say that family members can be karmic soul mates. Can you give an example?

Your mother is your first karmic soul mate. The aunt who took care of you when your parents couldn’t is another example. The grandmother who encouraged you throughout college, and was always there for you when others couldn’t or wouldn’t. Good examples of karmic soul mates. They support you, love you and are there for you.

Can animals be soul mates, too?

Yes, as funny as this seems, animals can fall into this category.

I have a story in my anthology, Romancing the Soul, by an incredible writer named Avie Townsend that exemplifies the karmic soul mate experience beautifully.

When I read her story about a cat she owned named Eli, I knew right away that this was no ordinary pet. Avie and Eli had connected on a spiritual level and exhibited extraordinary personal communication. Cats, as well as other animals, all have souls.

Remember, every living organism on this earth can become your soul mate.

If this is so, what about that philodendron sitting in my living room? It is a living organism. Can that plant be a soul mate, too?

As strange as it sounds, yes. Because of the fact that it is a living, breathing organism, it has potential of becoming a karmic soul mate. Have you ever seen a homeless person carrying around a certain plant? I have. That plant must have had special meanings to it or could it be they have connected on a karmic soul mate plane? Sure!

It is a documented fact that when you talk to plants, they thrive. Ignore them and while they may not die, they do not prosper as much than if you were to “connect” with them on a spiritual level. Talk to your plants and see if I’m not right.

Anything that is breathing and alive can be a potential soul mate.

Could I ever end up marrying my karmic soul mate?

No. This would fall into the companion soul mate category.

What are the differences?

A karmic soul mate comes into your life for you to teach them something or to learn something from them. A companion soul mate comes into your life for intimacy and/or childbearing.

A karmic soul mate comes into your life intermittently while a companion soul mate relationship can go on for years.

A karmic soul mate is the easiest soul mate to find while the companion soul mate takes time and much thought and is the most tumultuous of the three separate kinds of soul mates.

Why do you say tumultuous?

The karmic soul mate relationship usually stays on an even keel, while the companion soul mate comes with its own set of problems. That’s not saying that there won’t be differences within the karmic soul mate relationship, but that it never gets as explosive as it does within the companion soul mate relationship. Of the three kinds of soul mates – karmic, companion and twin soul – the companion soul mate relationship is the category that takes a lot of work for it to succeed. A karmic soul mate relationship requires no – if little – work to remain at an even balance of wills and demands.

What else would you like to say about soul mates?

In order for you to fulfill your life’s destiny, you must allow your karmic soul mates to enter your life. What would have happened if Lucy did not have Ethel to get her out of all those jams? Karmic soul mates come into your life for reasons and it is through them that we discover an important side to life in general and to ourselves, too. Our lives would not be complete if not for the incredible bond of the karmic soul mate.

Author and soul mate expert Dorothy Thompson is one of the nation’s leading authorities on soul mates. Her book “Romancing the Soul” and ebook “How to Find and Keep Your Soul Mate” are two of the most comprehensive guides to explaining what soul mates are really all about. Dorothy’s relationship columns have appeared in publications in the U.S. and abroad and has been quoted in such books as “Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees” by Cheryl Dellasega. She is a popular radio media guest, appearing on such shows as Lifetime Radio, Single Talk (World Talk Radio), Around2It, and Cuzin Eddie Show with Penny Sansevieri and 850 KOA-AM (Clear Channel Radio with listeners in 38 states, Canada and Mexico) and other media outlets.

To receive a FREE special report on “Ten Tips in Identifying Your Soul Mate,” visit her personal website at http://www.dorothythompson.net or her soul mate advice website at http://www.soulmateadvice.homestead.com You can also visit her blog at http://www.overthehillchick.blogspot.com

Insider Secret to Attract Soul Mate

admin0 — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:35:53 +0000

There’s nothing I love more than a good romantic movie. Richard Gere overcoming his fear of heights to proclaim his love to Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

I remember crying my eyes out in “13 Going on 30″ because I wanted that type of love. I knew it existed but I never believed it could happen for me.

Ironically during my lack of love life at that time, I was helping many people connect and fall in love. I was happy on the surface and encouraged my clients to open their heart when I did Soul Mate readings and workshops yet I felt hopeless inside. “Fake it till you make it” was my mantra.

I read women’s dating books like “The Rules,” that gave me temporary strength. Yes, I’ll teach those men that I’m in control and I’m powerful and I don’t need any man.

The problem was, my soul was upset with me. My soul told me “Joanna, this is not the way to find true love.”

“Why?” I asked my spirit guide.

“Because you’re not in alignment with your heart’s desire.”

“But I have to be strong or men will walk all over me and I’ll get my heart broken again.”

“Joanna, you’re missing the point. The key to attracting your Soul Mate is you have to be true to yourself.”

“What do you mean, true to myself?”

“When you’re busy during your day and someone phones on your cell, do you stop what you’re doing?”

“No, I focus on my work.”

“If someone you’re attracted to who makes your heart skip a beat phones do you answer?”

“No, maybe, yes.”

“The key is to live on purpose in your life. Stay focused on your goals. Give attention to and nurture your creativity. When you stop the flow and go outside of your own energy because “He” is calling you, the alignment of your soul gets knocked off track.”

“How?”

“You get those terrible butterflies in your stomach when he doesn’t call, right?”

“Yes, what does it mean?”

“It means that the love cannot last, even if he is a Soul Mate because you’re not taking care of yourself. The secret is to commit to your life purpose and then you shall attract your Soul Mate to you like a Magnet”.

I took my spirit guide’s advice and stopped answering my cell phone if I was in the middle of work. If I was feeling vulnerable, I’d turn off my phone and stay away from email until I’d completed all my tasks for the day.

I started to feel great that I was taking care of myself. My self esteem began to increase and soon after that I attracted my husband into my life.

America’s Intuition Coach™ Joanna Garzilli helps Soul Mates experience a love connection worldwide. Are you ready to live passionately? Joanna shares her insider soul mate secrets in “Synchronicity News” a FREE bi-monthly ezine. Learn more http://www.joannagarzilli.com

She currently teaches “How To Attract Your Soul Mate” and “Trust Your Intuition” at The Bodhi Tree Annex West Hollywood, The Aura Shop Santa Monica, and Vision Quest Bookstore Scottsdale Arizona. Joanna has featured as a clairvoyant on MTV. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband Nick, dog and two cats.

Is He My Soul Mate? 13 Questions to Ask To Yourself!

admin0 — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:30:55 +0000

Sometimes, girls may be wondering if her partner is the ‘one’ or not? The one that you will experience many life experiences with such as marriage, the honeymoon, kids, family life and old age.

Well, there are some ways that you can tell that your partner is your truly soul mate. If you care for him deeply and find yourself wondering he is indeed the ‘one’ then ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does he have admirable integrity?

2. Is he the kind of person who does what he says he was going to do?

3. Does he finish what he starts?

4. Do you respect him as a person and as a man?

5. Do you feel that he respects you as a person and a woman?

6. Does he actually treat you with respect?

7. Does he make you feel special?

8. Does he make you feel important that you are an important part of his life?

9. Does he respect your opinions and views?

10. Is he proud when introducing you to his family and friends?

11. Is he considerate of your feelings?

12. Does he do anything to help solving your problems?

13. Does he give you to feel comfortable and secure in the relationship?

So, if you’ve said yes to most of these questions, then you’re very likely with Mr. Right. Because Mr. Right is someone that can be good friend, a respectful friend, but he also can make your heart beat a little faster and he wants to share his joy in what he does with you. If someone or something is hurting you, then he wants to make it better even when all they can do is listen to you vent. He just wants to do what he can to fix it.

Finally, if you’re still on the same page, then you’re very likely with Mr. Right now because Mr. Right is someone who is going to embody most of these qualities. But remember, the last and most important to judge whether he is your soul mate or not, is your own heart. If your intuition, your gut, and your inner wise woman says, “yes, this is the one.” Then you’ve found Mr. Right.

Discover how to attract a man that you’ve always wanted, what the secret to a man staying committed for the long-run is, and how to get your relationship back on track.

The Introvert Personality

admin0 — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:28:40 +0000

A Definition of Introvert

Introversion is the tendency to focus one’s attention towards the inner, mental world rather than external, physical “reality”.

Introversion is a natural characteristic occurring in about 25% of the population according to psychotherapist Dr Marti Olsen Laney in her excellent book The Introvert Advantage. Introversion is not something we have or not, rather we all occupy a specific point on an introvert extrovert continuum.

Know thyself: are you an introvert?

We are each born with unique characteristics. In order to play our particular traits to their best advantage it is necessary to become acquainted with precisely what we are, our drives, inhibitions etc. Self-knowledge comes primarily from introspection, a surprisingly difficult process that requires discipline to overcome our mind’s inherent reticence.

If you prefer sitting quietly to socializing, if you prefer fewer, deeper relationships to numerous casual, shallow friendships, chances are you are an introvert.

Self-observation and introspection may be supplemented with the use of various “personality tests”, a number of which are freely available online. Tests based on Jung’s personality types, eg the Myers-Briggs, will reveal where you lie on introvert extrovert continuum.

Accept no single test as definitive. Instead, take several and compare their findings with what you already know about yourself. Tests may highlight certain aspects of yourself that you were not consciously aware of but in seeing them made explicit you might acknowledge them.

Through the process of introspection, testing and comparing the outcomes with self-knowledge and experience we arrive at a pretty good idea of our particular character and its strengths and weaknesses. Whatever our peculiarities we are now empowered to begin making the best of them.

Acceptance

We are each unique individuals, born precisely as we are to fulfill a very special purpose. That’s right, YOU ARE SPECIAL. Be you tall or short, fat or thin, light or dark skinned, introvert or extrovert… you are special and worthy of self-approval and love.

Western society tends to value extroverts more highly than introverts, perhaps that’s because extroverts are in the majority. However introversion is NOT a problem or disease, nor is it something to be ashamed of or ‘cured’. In many ways introverts have advantages over extroverts. By directing their energies inwards they are closer to their Spiritual essence. Introverts can more easily open themselves to inspiration and creativity. They are less distracted by worthless, deleterious “noise”.

To introverts the inner, mental world is of supreme importance. Relating to externality takes great effort, even – at times – pain. Because of society’s prejudice towards extroversion we may begin to feel weak, inferior. Stop being overwhelmed by other’s views of what’s ‘right’ or ‘best’. Only you can know what it’s like to be you. Only you know what you truly want in life. Never try to be what you are not.

Just as we should accept ourselves as we are, so we should accept others for what they are. No man is an island. Human progress has been made possible by specialization and cooperation. Just consider how many contribute to the comfort enjoyed in our daily lives, the farmers that produce our food, the builders that build our houses, the teachers that empower us with knowledge etc etc. And so we must accept the need to co-exist harmoniously with others.

From social interaction the introvert may even find experience and stimulation. But only ever so far as we are comfortable. In the knowledge of ourselves we should never try to be extrovert, just as dogs never try to be cats.

What of the introvert married to an extrovert partner? Even in partnership we retain individuality. It is OK for each spouse to pursue his or her particular path. But, occasionally, compromise is necessary. Perhaps the introvert partner may agree to attend a limited number of social functions on condition that s/he may time limit their involvement, the degree of involvement, and whether involvement happens at all.

A Place of Your Own

With self-knowledge and self-acceptance the introvert can begin constructing a lifestyle and pathway that is right for them. They should identify their most productive channels (writing, painting, business, finance, whatever…) and pursue these and direct their efforts to achieving maximum impact within them.

Ideally the introvert will be able to make a living through self-employment. The growth of the Internet is creating numerous new home-based business opportunities, liberating many from the rat race of working for others.

Librarianship, accountancy and academia are oft considered classic introvert occupations. A quiet and predictable work environment is good, as is one that aligns effort with conscience, eg working with a non-profit organization operating in a field that is strongly believed in.

As mentioned, there are varying degrees of introversion. For some introverts a quiet and entirely unstimulating existence is bliss. These folk are lucky. They can simply organize their lives, work and hobbies to minimize external stimulation. This certainly does not make their lives bland or unproductive. What they lack in external engagement is compensated by their rich and active inner world. This group can be extremely creative.

Other introverts face the paradox of craving a degree of external stimulation, but finding it physically and mentally draining. For such folk the answer is in finding a balance that optimizes personal satisfaction, eg engaging in external activity but limiting the number or type of events they participate in. “All things in moderation”, is a good motto. Learning to allocate enough energy for venturing outwards balanced by sufficient recovery time for self-repair is the key. It takes practice and will surely bring some knocks along the way, but with maturity that harmony may be found.

Johnny Finnis is editor of selfhelpsanctum.com, helping you help yourself. Have your say on our blog A Spiritual Voice.